Chapter 4: Q 2

Depending on outside factors depends on what I'm thinking about when someone is talking. I'm usually good at listening though when someone is talking to me. But if something big is going on in my life and I am stressing about it then thats usually what I am think about at all times. I can usually remember big ideas that people are trying to tell me or express to me but sometimes I dont remember exact detail. I appreciate when people listen to me so I like to be able to do that for other people.

Chapter 4: Q1

Me personally, I feel like I am on the fence about whether it is hard or not for me to start stop a conflict. I am the type of person who just likes to go along with things so that I don't disappoint people. Sometimes I have a completely different look on things, but I still will just not make my opinion a big deal. But on the other hand when I am really upset about something, I let it be known. I am known for holding grudges over something that can be so small. I feel like it depends on the person and the situation to know how I am going to react.
I feel like if I were to take a "time out"I would prefer to just separate for a certain period of time to let each other think about what was going on. Usually between that time you have been able to calm down and think logically about the situation at hand.

Week 4: Q3

I think that the idea of a mediator in the first place is a very interesting concept. I have heard of a mediator before in terms of working with conflict, but never did I think about it in the way that it is described in the book. I always seen it as someone who broke up conflict, which it is, but it happens to be way more than that. In the book it describes the role of a mediator in a much different view. When it is describing the role of the mediator they are not actually to resolve the problem. They are rather another person in the situation which makes the first two parties think more about what they are saying or their interaction. For example, when I thought about this in my own situation I thought this:
When I am fighting with my boyfriend we both may say hurtful things because we are angry. We are the only two actually hearing this conversation so sometime I tend not to really think about what I am saying. BUT when someone else is near us and we are fighting I tend to think about what I am going to say FIRST then construct it in a way that gets my point across in a respectful, clear, and understandable matter.

I wish that a mediator is something that I could have at every argument, but my goal is to try to think as if there is one there and maybe my thoughts, feelings, and frustrations will be communicated a lot more effectively.

Week 4: Q2

All of these techniques that were geared towards the meditation process can also be used in other parts of your life as well. Fractionation, which is breaking down down bigger issues into smaller ones, can be used with practically anything in your life. For example I use a technique like this when working on  big projects for school. I will break down the big project into smaller tasks which are easier to accomplish. This helps me stay organized without getting too stressed. Framing, asking questions that are unbiased, can help relationships not lead to issues. A good amount of time people get angry because people ask questions that are making an assumption. Having an unbiased look and position on issues will help all relationships, new and old. Reframing, taking negative comments and turning them to a position differently from their own, is an amazing skill to have. This can be used with your self talk and with other people. You can step back from your feelings and try to think in a different position. This is difficult to do, but can help you get a better understanding of any situation. It also can help with other people by being able to help others see different sides of situations as well. And lastly common ground is characteristics that parties share as an agreement. This is used in everyday life when people make friends. They find a common ground then grow off of that.

These techniques can help any situation if used correctly and will lead to a better outcome for all parties.

Week 4: Q1

I believe that communication majors would make the best mediators out of all careers choices because we are familiar with the processes and the different ways in which people communicate. We have learned or are learning about how to have an unbiased standpoint in most situations. Communication majors, especially dealing with conflict, have to be able to step back out of the situation and look at it from a different point of view. When people are angry, frustrated, or upset this is not possible which can lead to the conflict in the first place.  This is not something that cannot be done if not practiced enough which is what I believe sets us apart from other careers. Lawyers, for example, are used to fighting for one side of the argument over the other. They are trying to prove that their side is the right one and the other one is wrong. The mediator needs to be able to hear both sides of the story to come up with a resolution that would be best for both parties. 

Chapter 3 Question 2

To me there is a huge difference between punishment and discipline. I think that the way I was raised makes me have such a strong feeling about this topic. From my point of view I believe that discipline is the way of teaching your children or another person what is right from wrong. From a parents stand point this is teaching your children how to act or practically do anything on a day to day basis. Children do certain things or act a certain way because of the discipline that their parents have put on them since they were little. Parents sometimes use punishment to help a child understand what they did wrong. To me punishment is what the child has to do or go through to help them understand what they did and why it was not right.
When I was younger my parents were fairly strict in teaching me right from wrong. They taught me not to use bad words, to use my manners, to show respect to my elders, so on and so forth. But the unique thing about my situation is that the punishment that I went through when I did something wrong was never abusive. I was never hit or slapped like I have heard parents have done before. Some people think its impossible for a child to learn anything without using that kind of punishment, but I differ. The punishments that I got for the things I did wrong were very specific to that action. This lead me to not learn violence or fear, but rather what I was doing wrong was in fact wrong.
I think that a lot of parents over step their parental authority when they are very angry and upset and not clear on how to communicate their feelings. If you think about it violence, hitting your child, is not the answer. I believe that its not teaching them anything productive. If parents were able to channel their emotions in a more clear and understanding way then the child would learn a lot more effectively.

Hello everyone! My name is Breanna and this is my first year at San Jose State! I am a transfer student and am excited to be here at SJSU!:)